A day with Ike
by ArminArlelt
Summary: Sorry I couldn't come up with a better title. - -' But anyway, this is a TOTAL crackfic. Follow the crazy, one-day adventure of Link, Marth, and Ike as they go on a quest to get a hotel room! Struck by bordem!


**Okay! 5th story! Yay! *Ahem* anyway, this is my second humor story! This is a TOTAL crackfic. You have been warned.**

One day, Link, Marth, and Ike were sitting under a tree. They were out enjoying the fresh air and sunshine like any normal person would. But, since they were not normal, they despised the fresh air and sunshine.

"I despise this fresh air and sunshine," Marth said.

"Me, too," Link agreed.

"Me seven," Ike said from the background. Link and Marth sat up and looked at him like he had just eaten some Vaseline.

"What?" Ike asked.

"Um, you just said 'me seven'," Marth said.

"And?" Ike asked.

"You were supposed to say 'me three' since Link said 'me TWO'," Marth said.

"Look, Marth, there are three kinds of people; those who can count, and those who can't," Ike said simply before picking up a random ant and putting it on his shoe.

"But Ike-,"

"Just let it go," Link said.

"You know what? I just realized that I haven't taken my medicine today," Ike said, throwing the ant at a rock.

"Your medicine? What kind of medicine?" Marth asked.

"My…" Ike pulled Marth's ear close to his mouth, glancing around before continuing, "SPECIAL MEDICINE!" Ike yelled.

"IKE! WHY DID YOU JUST YELL IN MY EAR?" Marth asked holding his hurting ear.

"Hmmm…" Ike thought for a long time. It took him SO long that Marth and Link fell asleep.

"HEY!" Ike yelled, making Link and Marth jolt awake.

"WHAT?" they both yelled/asked.

"I FOUND A PEANUT!" Ike yelled before happily picking it up and throwing it at a random tree.

"Ahhh… that felt good," Ike said before looking down at Marth and gasping.

"MARTH! Why do you have blue hair? Do you use product on it?" Ike asked while picking up a blade of grass and placing it on Link's head.

"You have blue hair too, stupid," Marth said getting annoyed.

"I don't use product, though. Is it hereditary? *GASP* ARE WE RELATED?" Ike asked before picking up a random roll of toilet paper and giving it to Link.

"WE ARE NOT RELATED!" Marth got up and yelled.

"Dang it... HEY!" Ike yelled again looking at Link. Link tensed up while still holding on to the toilet paper.

"Link! OMG I just had the most AWESOME idea EVER!" Ike yelled before tearing off Marth's cape and putting it around Link's shoulders.

"Come, Robin! To the Bat Cave!" Ike yelled before dragging Link with him and making whooshing noises.

"MARTH! HELP MEEEEE!" Link yelled as he was being dragged away.

Marth ran after Link and Ike just because he felt like it.

Ike dragged Link to a random convenience store that was appropriately named 'Random Convenience Store'.

"Wow! This store is SO convenient!" Ike said as he walked in the door.

"Hello. What can I do for you today?" the cashier asked.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME BEHOLD THE AWESOME CONVENIENCE OF THIS CONVENIENCE STORE!" Ike yelled before picking up a nearby package of Mexican sponges and throwing them at the cashier.

"I'm melting!" she yelled as she slowly sank into a puddle.

"WOULD YOU LET ME GO ALREADY?" Link yelled in Ike's arms.

"QUIET! The yeast is rising!" Ike yelled to Link. Ike picked up another nearby package of Activia and gave it to Link.

"I don't have digestive problems! I just want to get out of here!" Link yelled throwing the package back to Ike.

"Well! Excuuuuuuuuse me, princess!" Ike said. Link slapped him with his free arm for using that lame joke.

"YOU JUST SLAPPED ME WITH YOUR FREE ARM FOR USING THAT LAME JOKE!" Ike yelled into Link's sensitive ear.

Suddenly, Marth burst through the doors of the Random Convenience Store.

"Wow! This store is SO convenient!" Marth said.

"I think we've covered that! Now HELP ME!" Link yelled.

"Ok… Activia?" Marth said picking up the package. He picked up a random fork and started to eat it.

"WHY ARE YOU EATING YOGURT WITH A FORK?" Link asked.

"*GASP* my cape! It's getting wrinkly!" Marth yelled looking at the smashed piece of fabric between Link and Ike while throwing his fork and yogurt to the ground.

"Your face is going to be wrinkled if you don't get me out of here!" Link yelled.

"DANG IT!" Ike yelled suddenly.

"What is it, boy? Did Timmy fall down the well again?" Marth asked.

"I LOST THE GAME!" Ike yelled.

"Darn you, Ike! I lost the game, too! And I was winning!" Marth yelled.

"AHHHHHH!" Ike yelled again.

"WHAT NOW?" Link yelled/asked, still being held captive in Ike's arms.

"A spider," Ike said, finally not yelling. They all silently watched the eight-legged bug crawl all the way across the floor.

"Let's rent a hotel room!" Marth said, breaking the silence. The stupidity was beginning to spread.

"I've always wanted to rent a hotel room!" Ike yelled again, "up, UP and AWAAAYYY!" Ike yelled once more before grabbing Marth and flying out the doorway.

"You can FLY?" Link asked.

"No! What makes you say that?" Ike asked, flying.

"Um, we're up in the air with no plane under us," Link said. Ike then seemed deep in thought.

"I need some ointment," he said finally.

"When will then insanity END?" Link asked to no one in particular.

"What's wrong? Are you upset because there's no East Virginia?" Marth asked in Ike's other arm.

"Shut up! I need peace," Ike yelled to the little bundles of joy in his arms.

"LOOK! THERE'S THE HOTEL!" Marth yelled.

"YAY!" Ike yelled again before plummeting into the side of the building.

"Well heeelllllooooo there!" a peppy voice came from below them. Ike, Link, and Marth all tore off the wall and landed on a random pile of extra large staples.

"Can I have a napkin?" Ike asked calmly, recovering remarkably fast from the staple injuries.

"Of course! But you'll have to give me a roll of toilet paper," the peppy man said. Ike burst in to tears because of his lack of toilet paper in roll form.

Link and Marth looked at him sadly (also recovering quickly from the staples), and tried to think of what to do.

Remembering the roll Ike had given him, Link ran over to the peppy man and handed him the toilet paper.

The man happily handed over the napkin, tore a square from the toilet paper, and began to eat it. Link ran over to Ike and gave him the napkin. Ike smiled in delight. He then gave Link a waffle and told him to be sure and give it a name. Link named it Bpsdfbgoivnenainfsnkklf7.

"Is it good?" Ike asked the peppy man, satisfied with his napkin.

"Tastes just like Mom used to make," the peppy man said gazing off into space.

The three amigos stood there and watched the man gaze off into space for several minutes.

"I think I just experienced birth," Ike said quietly.

"Let's go rent a hotel room!" Marth said suddenly.

"YEAH!" Ike yelled just as suddenly. Link sat quietly, knowing there was nothing he could do, and was dragged to the reception desk.

"HEY!" Ike yelled to the receptionist.

"May I help you?" the receptionist asked.

"Yeah. Why do they call it the 'reception desk'? Nobodies married. Unless… *GASP* MARTH! LINK! Do you have something you want to tell me?" Ike asked smiling.

"NO!" Link said blushing.

"HAHA! Man, you crazy!" Marth said slapping Ike.

"Whatevs. I WANT A ROOM NOW, PLEASE!" Ike yelled to the receptionist, oblivious to the red hand mark on his face.

"Okay! But you spelled it wrong," the receptionist said, completely oblivious to the previous sentences and/or actions.

"I've got moneys for da hotel room," Ike said before pulling out 1,000,000,000 dollars.

"Ike! Where did you get all that money?" Link asked.

"I do karaoke on the weekends," Ike said. Link and Marth were silent.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't take that kind of currency here," the receptionist said.

"What do you take then?" Marth asked. He seemed to be sane again.

"Waffles!" the receptionist yelled. Link remembered Bpsdfbgoivnenainfsnkklf7 and gave him to the receptionist.

"Thank you! Enjoy your stay!" the receptionist said happily before eating the waffle. Link, Marth, and Ike heard a shriek come from the waffle as the receptionist continued to gnaw on the pastry.

"I'm bored. Let's go home," Ike said.

"But we just got the room key!" Link said.

"Oh well. Let's just do what he wants," Marth said.

"WHATEVER!" Link said giving up.

On the way home, they were attacked by a rabbit, 4 dogs, a bag of popcorn, 7 gymnasts, and a very smelly old man.

"Man, it's good to be home!" Link said as he plopped down under the tree that he had been dragged away from that morning.

"Yep. Sorry for going crazy. Ike rubs off on me sometimes," Marth said as he also sat down.

"It's okay. Much longer and I would have been worse than you," Link said.

"Hey, Ike! Come here and pop a squat!" Marth said.

"What does that mean?" Ike asked.

"SIT DOWN!" Marth yelled.

"Okay!*" Ike said happily before sitting down beside Link.

"Why did you sit by Link?" Marth asked.

"Because he has blond hair," Ike said simply.

"Oh yeah," Marth said, realizing that that was totally obvious.

As the three guys sat under the tree, despising the fresh air and sunshine, Ike asked,

"Marth, why do you have blue hair?"

Marth and Link – T-T

~The End~

**This is what you get when you cross 23 girls in a geography class, bordem, and randomness by the truck-loads. They had the ideas, I just put it into a story. Thanks for reading anyway! I hope you didn't loose too many IQ points =) –Dawn ^^, **

**Thanks to:**

**Kayla, Aubrey, Laken, Maddie, Dee, Audrey, Lauren, Victoria, Brianna, Summer, Kelby, Mckenzie, Alyssa, Anna, Crissy, Melissa, Skyler, Abby, Lila, Karaline, Haley, Autumn, and Nichole.**

**I love my awesome, crazy friends 3**


End file.
